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Daycare Red Flags: Is Your Child Getting Enough Attention?

For many parents, dropping their child off at daycare is part of the daily routine. You kiss them goodbye, head to work, and trust that they’ll receive the attention they need. While daycare works well for many families, it’s not always the case for everyone.

Parents often worry about whether their children are receiving enough one-on-one attention at daycare. This concern is valid, considering daycare providers have multiple children to care for. While most centers offer sufficient attention, there are times when daycare red flags pop up, suggesting your child may not be getting the care they need.

From a toddler not adjusting to daycare to an infant not advancing as expected, many signs can indicate insufficient attention at daycare. Here are some key daycare red flags to watch for and what you can do if you notice them.

Daycare Red Flags to Look Out for

Maybe you notice your kid acting out after coming home from daycare. Or maybe the daycare teacher has sent home more than one report of problems. While this isn’t always a red flag, it should give you pause. There are many signs that could indicate your child’s emotional needs aren’t being met at daycare. Below are five we consider to be daycare red flags that might warrant reevaluating your childcare options.

1. Sudden Change in Behavior

Seeing your toddler’s behavior change after daycare? If you notice your toddler suddenly doesn’t want to go to daycare or significant changes in their actions at home, it can indicate something is upsetting them at daycare. If your child starts exhibiting new, unhealthy behaviors after enrolling in a new daycare center, you might want to look into why.

2. Regression in Behavior

Even more troubling than new behaviors is a behavior regression. What might this look like? A previously potty-trained child might suddenly having accidents or a toddler acting out at daycare in ways they had matured out of. These could be signs daycare is not a good fit for your child. Seeing different regressions in a child’s development aren’t necessarily signs of a “bad” daycare, but at the very least, the teachers need to get on board with your child’s needs.

3. Increase in Evening Tantrums

It’s normal for young kids to have tantrums, particularly in the evening after a long, tiring day. But if you’re frequently dealing with toddler tantrums after daycare, it can be a sign that their emotional needs aren’t being met during the day.

If your child comes home and “dumps it all out” only moments after entering the safe space of their home, there’s a reason for it. The reason could be that the daycare imposes unreasonable expectations or has too many kids to give proper attention. Or, it could just be that your child is experiencing more frustrations at daycare than they’re used to experiencing at home. Either way, it’s important to find out the cause.

4. Lack of Open Communication

Most daycare providers are eager to be on the same page as the parents. If the daycare teachers or director aren’t open to hearing your concerns, that’s the largest of the various daycare red flags.

There are many daycare problems that can be remedied with a little dialogue. However, poor communication between you and the staff is a huge red flag, especially when your child has specific needs that aren’t being met. If the teachers are inflexible to discussing potential adjustments, it may be wise to change childcare providers.

5. Care Providers Seem Disengaged

If the daycare teachers seem emotionally unengaged with the kids, this can be a sign that their hearts aren’t in it. While this doesn’t always mean they’re failing in their duties, a child’s safety, both physical and emotional, can be compromised when teachers are disengaged. If you see that the daycare center’s on-duty staff member isn’t rising to the job, you might want to look into transferring to a different facility.

What You Can Do If You Notice These Signs

Seeing these daycare red flags can be unnerving, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the worst. If you notice any of the above signs, it’s important to investigate before jumping to conclusions. We suggest you consider the following.

Stop by Unannounced

By stopping by unannounced, parents can get a good feel for how the teachers are interacting with the kids and assess how they manage a child’s day, even when they don’t expect anyone to see them. Keep an eye out for how the teachers respond to the children’s emotional needs, and whether there’s a focus on educational and age-appropriate activities.

Speak with Other Parents

It’s a good idea to lean into your shared community. Your child may not be the only one whose behavior has changed. Other parents might share similar worries, especially when the teacher-to-child ratio seems off. 

Learn the Warning Signs

The most troubling warning signs indicate abuse. These are huge red flags in any setting and should never be ignored. Keep an eye out for:

  • Sudden, persistent diaper rash
  • Unexplained welts, bruises, and cuts that don’t go away
  • Unusual withdrawal, fear, or shyness, or signs of guilt or shame
  • Child shows fear toward a particular daycare worker or employee
  • Night terrors or recurring nightmares
  • Urinary tract infections or unusual genital soreness

If you pick up on the above signs, taking immediate action is important. How do you know if daycare is bad? Trust your instincts, gather evidence, and report your observations immediately. Remember, you aren’t accusing someone by reporting your observations. But if your suspicions are correct, your report will prevent the abuse from continuing.

Hire an Au Pair

Since they live in your home, Au Pairs are more likely to develop a close familial bond with your children. Most Au Pairs love their Host Family as much as they love their family back home.

This kind of bond makes a huge difference in the quality of care your child receives. Not only does this loving relationship offer peace of mind to parents, but it also helps ensure that your children receive more one-on-one attention than they would in a daycare.

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Shonna Anderson

Author

Shonna has worked for Go Au Pair for 9+ years. She started as a Placement Coordinator creating connections between Host Families and Au Pairs. Then moved in to the Au Pair and International space working with Au Pairs from all over the world. Now she writes helpful, inspiring, and fun content for Go Au Pair. If you are interested in sharing your experience, or if you have questions or would like assistance, please reach out to @ShonnaAuPairSis on Facebook or email sanderson@goaupair.com.

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