Managing a household means balancing packed schedules, finding time to connect, and somehow addressing the ever-growing mountain of chores. Communication is key to this juggling act, especially when welcoming a new member, like an Au Pair, into your home.
A great way to keep schedules locked in, chores checked off, and communication flowing? Initiate a family meeting that includes your Au Pair.
In this blog, we’ll explain why family meetings matter, how to make them a positive part of your family culture, and offer a step-by-step guide to running successful family meetings that work for everyone.
Why Are Family Meetings So Crucial for Au Pairs?
When a Host Family welcomes an Au Pair into their home, they’re embracing a new family member with unique values, customs, and perspectives. This cultural exchange enriches the household but also comes with a learning curve. Regular family meetings ensure everyone — parents, kids, and Au Pair — has a voice.
Family meetings help get everyone on the same page. They allow the Host Family and Au Pair to align on chores, schedules, expectations, and any changes that could affect family life. More than that, they create a supportive environment for problem-solving, allowing children and other family members to express themselves and feel heard.
For example, an Au Pair may want to discuss their experiences helping with a college student’s application process. Or, they may bring up ideas for new traditions the family might enjoy. Kids might want to add a new fun activity to the weekend, or parents might want to discuss upcoming family events or challenges. Whatever the topic, a family meeting creates the space to listen, collaborate, and adjust as needed.
Cultural Differences in Communication
Welcoming an Au Pair into your home means opening your door to a different culture. This incredible opportunity for exchange and mutual learning also calls for mindfulness and empathy, especially when communication styles and expectations can differ.
Remember to be mindful of language barriers to ensure your family meeting format is inclusive and welcoming. Even if your Au Pair is fluent in English, idioms, humor, and fast-paced speech may be challenging to follow. Speak clearly, avoid slang, and encourage your children to do the same. If something is misunderstood, take a moment to clarify with kindness.
Respect cultural norms and boundaries. In some cultures, it’s not typical for young adults to openly express opinions in front of authority figures. Your Au Pair may need time to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts during family meetings. Give them space and express appreciation when they do speak up. Avoid putting them on the spot; ask gently if they’d like to add anything or share a perspective based on their background.
Acknowledge and celebrate differences. Your family meeting time can be a great opportunity to learn from one another!
10 Steps to a Successful Family Meeting
No two family meetings will be the same, but there are simple steps you can follow to help make them as successful as possible!
1. Schedule Them Regularly
Consistency is key to making family meetings effective. Set a recurring meeting time (weekly or bi-weekly, for example) and stick to it. The more you prioritize this, the more kids and Au Pairs will see it as part of the rhythm of family life.
Think of it like any other important commitment—just as you’d prioritize school activities or doctor appointments, consistently showing up sends the message that every family member’s voice matters. Regular meetings create structure, offer predictability, and help children and Au Pairs feel more secure in knowing when family conversations will happen.
Remember, the goal isn’t perfection but presence. It’s better to hold short, regular meetings than to wait for the “perfect” time that may never come. Don’t worry if a few meetings feel less productive — consistency makes the difference over time.
2. Rotate Responsibilities for Each Member
Give each family member a role in the meeting. One person might keep track of time, another might record key decisions, and another might moderate the conversation. Let your Au Pair take the lead sometimes—it gives them more power to contribute and models leadership for the children.
This approach teaches kids about shared responsibility and helps build confidence. It also ensures that only one person isn’t in charge of keeping everything organized every week. Over time, even young children can take on age-appropriate roles, such as choosing a fun activity at the end or setting up the space before the meeting starts.
Sharing responsibility helps everyone feel more involved and invested, fostering a sense of teamwork and collaboration.
3. Prepare a Family Meeting Agenda
Come to the table with an agreed-upon agenda. This helps keep the meeting focused and ensures you have time to discuss issues without getting sidetracked. Invite everyone to add topics during the week. Your Au Pair might want to discuss improving bedtime routines, while your kids might want to suggest fun weekend plans or grocery requests.
Record the agenda on a whiteboard, a piece of paper, or a shared digital planner. This gives structure to the meeting while signaling that everyone’s ideas are welcome. A clearly outlined agenda also reduces anxiety by letting participants know what to expect, especially for children who thrive on routine and predictability.
4. Address Topics One at a Time
Instead of jumping randomly from one issue to another, follow a list of topics ranked by priority. Whether it’s figuring out how to solve problems with screen time, navigating sibling rivalry, or planning the next family meeting, staying focused helps everyone feel heard.
Use visual aids like a checklist or a talking stick to help ensure everyone takes turns respectfully voicing their thoughts. Encourage active listening and allow enough time for discussion, especially if the topic involves difficult issues or strong emotions.
If emotions escalate, pause to check in with each other. Decide together if you want to table the topic for another time. Reinforcing respectful, turn-based conversation builds communication skills and reinforces emotional safety.
5. Encourage Kids to Speak First
Letting children talk first gives them a sense of ownership and shows that their voices matter. You’ll be surprised how insightful even younger kids can be when they feel safe expressing their thoughts.
It’s also an opportunity to teach them how to listen, participate respectfully in conversation, and express themselves clearly—a skill that will benefit them throughout life. Plus, it builds confidence and demonstrates that everyone has value regardless of age.
Create a judgment-free zone by acknowledging contributions with phrases like “That’s a great point” or “I hadn’t thought of it that way.” When children feel empowered to speak up, they’re more likely to remain engaged in family conversations.
6. Brainstorm Solutions Together
When a problem arises—whether it’s about chores, bedtime, or needing more help from one parent—involve everyone in finding a solution. Let your Au Pair share their perspective, too. Group brainstorming leads to creative solutions and helps older children learn the value of teamwork.
Use phrases like “What ideas do you have?” or “Let’s write down every suggestion before we decide.” This open-ended approach helps shift the focus from blame to problem-solving and creates space for compromise and creativity.
Even if you don’t land on the perfect answer, you’ve modeled collaborative thinking—and that’s a win.
7. Make Decisions by Consensus
Try to reach decisions that everyone can agree on. Consensus doesn’t always mean total agreement—it means every family member can live with the decision and feels it’s fair. This practice supports conflict resolution and helps children feel respected.
You might ask: “Is this a decision we can all live with?” or “Does anyone have concerns we haven’t considered yet?” Encourage honesty and openness without pressure. The goal isn’t unanimous enthusiasm—it’s respectful agreement.
It also sets an example for navigating real-world decisions, building mutual respect and understanding, and reaching compromises.
8. Use “I” Statements
“I” statements allow people to share feelings without blaming others. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when the toys are left out” is better than “You never clean up!” Encourage everyone to speak from their own perspective to avoid putting others on the defensive.
This fosters emotional safety and builds strong communication habits. Model these statements yourself and encourage your Au Pair to use them when discussing routines or challenges they encounter.
Even younger kids can learn this language with practice, especially if you use simple examples and role-playing during the meeting.
9. Take Breaks if Needed
If the meeting gets heated, it’s okay to pause. Suggest a five-minute break so everyone can regroup. Sometimes stepping away from a conflict helps people return with more clarity and compassion.
Teach your kids that strong feelings aren’t bad—they just need healthy outlets. Taking breaks also models good coping strategies and demonstrates that we all need space sometimes.
Return after the break with calmer energy and a quick ice breaker to reset the tone before continuing.
10. Make It Fun!
End your meeting on a high note with a fun activity or snack. Laughter goes a long way in reinforcing family culture and keeping meetings something to look forward to.
Some families play a short board game, share silly jokes, or vote on next weekend’s adventure. The goal is to reward participation and reinforce regular meetings as something to look forward to rather than dread.
Including your Au Pair in the fun helps them feel more connected and appreciated. It encourages the entire family to enjoy each other’s company beyond logistics and to-do lists.
More Tips for a Successful Family Meeting
Here are a few extra ways to keep your family meetings helpful and productive:
- Use Visuals: Create a shared board where you can write the family meeting agenda or draw plans for family events. This can help younger children stay engaged.
- Set a Time Limit: Try not to let meetings go over 30 minutes. Shorter is often more effective, especially for those with limited attention spans.
- Follow-Through: After each meeting, ensure a clear follow-through on what was discussed. If you agreed to change bedtime routines or reduce screen time, stick with it.
- Incorporate Meals: Having the meeting during or right after a shared meal at the kitchen table naturally sets a tone for connection.
- Be Consistent, Not Rigid: If one week’s meeting doesn’t happen, don’t give up. Adjust, reset, and aim for your next meeting.
Family meetings are most effective when they reflect the evolving needs of your household. Your format may shift as your children grow and your Au Pair gains experience—and that’s okay.
Family Meeting Format
Creating a consistent family meeting format helps everyone know what to expect and encourages regular participation. When meetings follow a predictable flow, family members—especially children and Au Pairs—feel more confident contributing, and the conversation stays on track.
While every family is different, the following format can serve as a helpful starting point:
1. Opening Check-In (5 minutes)
Begin by checking in with each person. Go around the table and ask each family member to share something they enjoyed during the week or are looking forward to. This sets a positive tone and encourages everyone to be present.
Tip: This is also a great time for your Au Pair to share observations or small victories from their week with the kids.
2. Review of Previous Action Items (5–10 minutes)
Briefly revisit decisions made at the last family meeting. Did everyone follow through on what they agreed to do? Were any goals or changes implemented successfully? Were there any challenges? Reviewing past items helps reinforce accountability and shows that meetings have real value.
3. Discuss New Family Meeting Topics (15–20 minutes)
Move into the heart of the meeting by discussing new items from the family meeting agenda. This might include household responsibilities, upcoming events, conflicts that need problem-solving, or anything else the group feels is important. Focus on one topic at a time and allow everyone a chance to speak.
4. Brainstorm and Decision Making (10 minutes)
After discussing a topic, involve the group in brainstorming solutions and reaching consensus-based decisions. Whether it’s adjusting chores or planning the next family meeting, make sure that decisions are clear, realistic, and inclusive.
5. Wrap-Up and Action Steps (5 minutes)
Before ending the meeting, summarize the key takeaways and list any next steps or assignments. Make sure one person writes down decisions and shares them afterward—your Au Pair can help with this if they manage the children’s routines.
6. Close With Something Fun (Optional)
Finish on a high note! Play a short game, share a funny story, or transition to movie night. Ending with a fun activity helps keep family meetings positive and turns them into something even the kids will look forward to.
Tip: Don’t force a positive end to the meeting; it could have the opposite effect. Give each member the space to process the meeting’s results in their own way.
How Au Pairs Contribute to Family Meetings
Au Pairs bring a unique international perspective and often serve as a bridge between parents and children. Including them in family meetings builds trust and allows them to share helpful observations or offer new ideas informed by their unique perspective.
An Au Pair might notice that kids learn better when the house is quieter after school or suggest adjusting meeting time to avoid bedtime meltdowns. Their role as caring, involved adults makes their input valuable in helping the family solve problems before they escalate.
They can also help children prepare for the meeting by writing down what they want to say or even brainstorming a fun activity to end with.
Making Family Meetings Part of Your Family Tradition
When done consistently, family meetings become more than a tool—they become a valued family tradition. Over time, they nurture a strong, connected household that practices group decision-making, emotional support, and collaboration. They create space for celebration, growth, and conflict resolution, laying the foundation for a truly successful family dynamic where every voice matters.
Whether you’re preparing for your next family meeting or just getting started, the key is to begin. Keep it simple, stay consistent, and remember that progress is more important than perfection.
Start your journey with Go Au Pair today. Find an Au Pair now and build a stronger, more connected family culture through the power of communication.
